There’s an old Jewish saying about bashert — the belief that when God created the heavens and the earth, He also created the person destined for you. Your other half. Your intended one. I first heard the idea years ago while watching an old movie with Jodie Foster, and something about it stayed with me ever since.
The idea is beautiful:
That before we ever arrive here, our souls already know one another, and life becomes the journey of hopefully finding our way back together.
Now whether that actually happens… perhaps that depends on us.
Some people believe we only have one soul mate. Others believe we encounter many soul connections throughout life — people who teach us, shape us, heal us, or awaken parts of ourselves we didn’t know existed. Honestly, I don’t know for certain which is true.
But when you hear stories of love at first sight, of people meeting and instantly feeling familiar to one another, it makes you wonder if maybe there really is something deeper happening beyond explanation.
In my mind, if God created every soul that would ever exist, then perhaps He also created souls meant to recognize one another. But life — and free will — has a way of complicating things.
Because we are given choices.
Sometimes people cross paths and miss one another completely. Sometimes timing interferes. Sometimes wounds, fear, pride, or distractions get in the way. And sometimes we become so focused on our “type” that we overlook genuine connection standing right in front of us.
That’s why I think one of the biggest mistakes people make while searching for love is looking for someone to complete them.
You should already be whole.
Too often people search for another person to fill empty spaces they haven’t healed within themselves. But real connection happens best when two complete people come together — not when one person becomes responsible for fixing the other’s loneliness, insecurity, or identity.
Light attracts light.
Become the kind of person you hope to attract.
Work on yourself.
Heal yourself.
Know yourself.
Love yourself first.
I’ll admit, I’ve tried online dating before — everything from Jdate to Match.com. And one thing I learned through all of it is this: always present your authentic self. No fake profiles. No pretending. Just you.
Because eventually truth reveals itself anyway.
I also believe in the saying, “When a man finds…” And if I look back honestly, every meaningful connection I’ve ever had came from someone pursuing me — not me forcing something or trying to convince myself someone “looked like the one.”
Because the truth is, we really don’t know what “the one” is supposed to look like.
We place labels, checklists, and expectations on people, but love does not always arrive packaged the way we imagined it would.
So do I believe in soul mates?
Yes… I believe there is someone for everyone.
But I also believe that sometimes we miss what’s meant for us because we’re too busy looking for perfection instead of recognition.
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