09, March 2016trauma

09, March 2016 by Valrelyn Parson

We all suffer trauma at some stage in our lifetimes. It’s how we endure those experiences that determine who we are after. Some people cling to the memories of the traumatic experience, and simply refuse to move forward. They become prisoners who are taken captive by the experience, and there are others who refuse to be in the past. There are those who use this experience as a stepping stone to propel them to greatness. Often times in life we have to determine if we want to live in the past, and wallow in the woe is me or chose to live and not die. Has your past trauma become your safety net in life?  Do you constantly tell the story of what you went through as a badge of courage or as a band aid to preserve you from moving forward and having a life? Some simply chose to remember no more, they allow their wounds to heal, and not to distract them. Life happens, sometimes the choices we make or others make leave us hurt and traumatized.

Oftentimes when we are hit with blunt force trauma, we wonder if we can make it.  If we survive there is the guilt of making it that haunts us. Because deep inside we wish we had not. The pain that we go through is often too hard to bear. But there is always light at the end of the tunnel and somewhere in the horizon.  There is hope to see us through one day at a time. You keep asking yourself why I made it through. And often times you feel guilty, because you are not happy with the result of the disaster.  You become Codependent on things and people to help you make it through one day at a time.  You are afraid of being happy, of being whole. Because you no longer know what those things are and what they look like. In your head, you say I have survived but in reality you have not.  It’s weird how traumatic experiences affect us.

Traumatic events such as early trauma can lead to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which affects about 8% of Americans at some point in time in their spirits as well as depression substance abuse, dissociation, personality disorders, and health problems. For many trauma victims, PTSD can be a lifelong problem. There are reports of child abuse, assault, brutal physical attack, and being in a war and witnessing violence, and bloodshed, and death from close quarters. Near death experiences change people. These are extremely traumatic events, and some victims bear the scars for life.

The physical scars heal, but some emotional wounds stop the lives of these people dead in their tracks. They are afraid to get close to people or form new relationships. Change terrifies them, and they remain forever hesitant to express their needs or even vent. It may not be always apparent, but post-traumatic stress disorder stifles the life force out of its victims. It is no use telling them to “come over” it’s because PTSD fundamentally changes the brain’s structure and alters its functionalities.

PTSD is painful and frightening. The memories of the event linger and victims often have vivid flashbacks. Frightened and traumatized, they are almost always on the edge and the slightest of cues sending them hurtling back in their protective shells. Usually victims try to avoid people, objects, and sites that remind them of their hurtful experiences; this behavior is debilitating and prevents them from living their lives meaningfully.

Many victims forget the details of the incident, obviously in an attempt to lessen the shock. Often this coping mechanism has negative repercussions as well. Without accepting and reconciling with “reality,” they turn into fragmented souls. When we are experiencing overwhelming volumes of data—especially information that takes an emotional rush—our bodies, minds and spirit adapt to help us get by. At times, the way we cope may help in the moment, but may cause longer term negative consequences. The emotional effects of Trauma are scattering some victims feel guilt for having more resources, and opportunities or they feel no matter how much the give is not enough, the feel hopeless about the future. Trauma victims often become angered, and resentful, even irritable and cynical. There are shifts in your thought pattern you see multiple perspectives or new solutions, you jump to conclusion, you’re thinking becomes rigid, your thoughts and actions become deliberate. You often imagine situations and circumstances that never happened. Often times your behavior changes you avoid, friends and family. You dread having anything to do with positive situations.  This effect has made you to be isolated and removed. Sometimes trauma victims turn to drugs and alcohol as an outlet to cope with the pain.

So often it’s hard to let go and allow the wounds of our past to heal us, so we hang on to the pain. Instead of allowing the wound to get air to heal, we often put a ban aide on top of it to protect it.  Sometimes ban aides have a way of keeping the wounds from healing and sometimes we become co-dependent on them.  What is your ban aide what is preventing you from healing and going ahead? Is there someone or something that is keeping you from moving forward? A ban aide simple design was to help the healing process, they weren’t meant to last forever.  Even though they keep the wounds protected sometime the wounds needs exposure to heal properly. I would like to say the healing process is easy, but it’s not.  Traumas are often past scares that were inflicted on us or self-inflicted wound that never seem to go away.  Have you released them or you willing to release them?   Are you clinging on to them for dear life because it’s your band aid? It’s what gets you through the tough times. There should be more in life to get you through than painful memories.

Oftentimes the very things we claim to desire to be free of we don’t want to be free from. We keep pulling at the scab we want it to fester.  We seek the familiar, because it’s easy. It’s more comfortable to have less than more than.  The fear of being made whole often scares you. I don’t actually know why though. Maybe the fear is that you will finally be detached. Being whole is defined as free of wound or injury (unhurt), recovered from a wound or injury (restored), free of defect or impairment, having all of its proper parts (complete).  A synonym for whole is “perfect”.  If I could physically prove to you something that is not whole, I would present to you a glass that has been shattered into many pieces or maybe a puzzle with one piece of it missing. Both of these instances have no value or use because they are worn out or incomplete.   People are just like this.  All of us are incomplete and some of us are like the glass.  Our lives have been torn into many pieces by sickness, death, trauma, depression, violence, addictions, or some other great trouble.

You are only as sick as the secrets you keep. The things you hold on to and refuse to let go, will eventually destroy you.  You have become comfortable in the mess. No one knows the true you, only the perception of who you have created to be you.  You are afraid of the genuine you.  You pretend to be someone because you feel as if no one will be empathetic toward you.  You long to belong, to be accepted, but you don’t know who to be. You don’t recognize what normal interaction is. So you make up fantasy based on a false reality.  You love the attention you get from lying because that is the only way you can get attention. So you make up little lies are half true, because others are sympathetic to your pain. The reality is lies have a way of catching up to us; they have a way of creating harm.

All victims have a kind of coping mechanism; they become codependent on something or someone. It’s easier to have a crutch to hold on to, than to seek the one that could help. Sometimes we have to be broken, often times God has to break us in order to use us or even save us from ourselves. Sometimes he uses other people to break us.   Yes, he allows bad things to happen to people. God wants your attention, your focus on him.  But often instead of turning to God we turn to substances or we turn to people to cure us.  The trouble with that is it only temporary. You need more than something temporary you need for it to be whole. An addict is only as good as his or her last fix. What is your fix what are you using to get through the traumatic events of your past? What’s your new high or rather who is your new high.  If it’s not God, then you will never be healed. If you don’t seek him, then you will be constantly looking for the next person or the next something to get you through. It’s hard submitting, and it’s even harder when you can’t find out the truth. When you have lived in a false reality you can’t discern fact from fiction or maybe you can but you cling to what you know because it’s easier. It’s easier to pretend to be something or somebody you aren’t, then faces the cold hard truth. That your life is a mess, and it’s out of control and that you are a failure. Your life is constantly spiraling out of restraint, you are like an emotional roller coaster, and you drain those you love, and who love you.

When we imagine of being whole, being healed some automatically think about health issues. Whole is a matter of harmony, body, soul, and spirit. Wholeness, however, is a matter of harmonizing body, soul, and spirit. It’s living every facet of life with purpose. When God breaks us, he does so with the purpose of putting us back together again better than before, and ultimately, so that we might be whole. You have the ability to overcome horrific trauma through God’s word. The hurt cannot be edited from your memory, but the after effects of this traumatic injury to your soul can be healed through letting God’s Word wash over you and through prayer with others.

Oftentimes, the soul’s healing is ignored in a traumatic event because we don’t recognize how to heal it. Many of us can’t conceive of God being that interested in us or that he would get that involved in our life. Or either you didn’t believe in the existence of God or the Bible. It is the last place many of us will look for help.  God has all the answers we seek. If you are worn out by the dead ends you have found in searching for relief and healing, give God and his word a chance. He is amazing and he welcomes all who come. No matter how skeptical you are, if you allow him an opening, he will prove to you that he is trustworthy. I know he loves you that much.

So often you have allowed the traumatic event to imprint into your soul. Your soul’s injury can be a type of Post Traumatic Shock. You may be reliving the event, triggered by a number of non-related circumstances, sounds or smells. Your soul is bringing back the event, and its difficult find healing in itself. I believe you can have a wonderful life beyond the traumatic event that you have been through. You must take all thoughts captive and find hope in God through the word for you to overcome this tragedy.

When we find ourselves broken, we must be really careful not to try to predetermine either the methodology or the timetable for our own recovery. God will reveal his plan and purpose to us step by step. Very seldom does he give insight into the total plan he has for us. We are called to trust him day by day by day. It may very well seem to us that we are wasting away daily, but if we will look beneath the surface to the inner work God is doing, we are actually growing and being strengthened day by day

If you are willing to turn to God and to submit completely to him and trust him with your life, an inner spiritual strength begins to develop that out shadows and outweighs anything happening in the physical realm. Sometimes our bodies are healed physically, sometimes not. But the important thing for is you heal your spirit for eternity. When God is at work in our life, we must realize the most valuable aspect of our true being. We also must recognize that no matter how long our struggle, our time trial is only temporary. Oftentimes, when we are broken, we limit our perspective on brokenness to the physical or emotional realm.

Even if we suffer an affliction or brokenness that lasts for years, even decades, what is that compared to all of eternity? You should keep perspective of what we are experiencing. No matter how bad things may look, if we submit our lives to God, he is at work creating something good and something lasting. He is getting to us whole, starting with the unseen spiritual dimension of our spirits. He is placing things back into their proper order: the spirit first, the soul second, the physical third.

God’s purpose is always accomplished ultimately at the spiritual level. Outer circumstances may or may not matter. They certainly change only according to God’s timing. Our role in times of brokenness is to submit not only to what God desires to do in our lives, but also to his timetable. Wholeness may not come quickly or easily, but it is worth the wait! Even though you have been born again in their spirits, you continue to live by force of habit and also by force of will according too old patterns. You experience things only on the surface, and you respond to life superficially.

When God saves your soul, you are made whole that very instant, that very hour.   Salvation is the free gift of God’s grace.  You don’t have to do something more or different.  God’s salvation is made to you freely and fully the instant you accept Jesus as your Savior.  There is spiritual growth that can be had after you are saved, but you are “whole” the moment that God saves your soul.

The Holy Spirit is at work in our lives. Our purpose is to bring HIM glory. Our greatest glory lies not in what we can achieve and practice on our own, but solely on what we allow the Lord to work in our lives so that we bring him glory. We can never know greater satisfaction or feel any greater acclaim than to lay our crowns at his feet and to be presented to him as a work in which there is no shame, fault, flaw, or darkness. We frequently lose sight of the fact that this life is preparation for the lifetime to come. The process is one of learning and growing and developing. It is a process of becoming whole. And when we return to God’s purposes, the process is one of becoming whole. When my will is eventually broken completely, then I belong to HIM heart, soul, mind, body, spirit. When that happens, my life is totally and completely his responsibility. I am his to do with as he pleases.

When God saves your soul, the salvation he gives you is “perfect”.  It is not of man’s righteousness that you are saved, but of the righteousness of Jesus.  This is why salvation is eternal.  It is not dependent on humanity and his goodness or his deeds, but it is furnished by the supreme sacrifice that Jesus earned on Calvary.  What God does, he does well.  The scripture didn’t say that these masses were just partially made whole and that it would just be good for so many days or months.  It said they were made perfectly whole.

What’s preventing you from being made whole?  Like the crippled man being in this scripture, have you been on life’s journey a long time, but your spirit is hollow and empty? When Jesus saw him lying there and knew he had already been there a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to get well?””  Then now is the time for you to call on Jesus and ask him to make your life whole.   And immediately the man was made whole, and took up his bed, and walked. Do you want to be healed, if so call on JESUS. He will heal you and deliver you.

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