David and Bathsheba “When a man loves a woman”

bathsheba-wotwHope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?
But if we hope for what we do not see we wait for it with patience.
(Romans 8: 24-25).

“God’s dream must be experienced God’s way. If you settle for anything else, you’ll never be satisfied,” I love the song that I think was first made famous by Percy Sledge but not sure of that, that begins “When a man loves a woman. . . and I think probably every woman in the world loves that song also. If you listen carefully to the words, you will hear the kind of passion of how this man loved a woman.

“When a man loves a woman can’t keep his mind on nothing else.. He’ll trade the world.. for the good thing he’s found… If she is band he can’t see it… she can do no wrong…. Turn his back on his best friend….. if he put her down. ….. when a man loves a woman… spend his very last time … trying to hold on to what he needs…. He’d give up all his comfort… sleep out in the rain….. if she said he ought to be…. Well, this man loves a woman… I gave you everything I had… tryin to hold on to your precious love”.

Several months ago I saw a play “Three ways to get a husband.” The most profound statement in the play was,” Men marry women they can’t live without and women marry men they can live with… To me this means that women settle and we shouldn’t. A friend’s husband once told me do not marry the man whom you think you can live with, marry the one who cannot live ” without you. “A man who loves a woman will do ANYTHING to have her, anything; so if the man you are dating does not love you like that, don’t marry him. When a man wins a woman’s love, she entrust herself to him. And of course he aspires to be worthy of this responsibility. Men and women were design to complement each other, not to compete or fight. You don’t win a woman’s trust by attempting to dominate or suffocate her rather you show her how you live and want to live. When a man loves a woman he wants her to be happy. He wants her to be his. Read the story in The Holy Bible about King David and Bathsheba who at the time that David first saw her, was married to Uriah. There are positive and negative truths to be learned from that and I am certain that is why it is in the Bible. The positive truths are: men will do anything to have possession of the woman they want, and unless they know GOD and HIS commandments that could lead to trouble. The “negative” components seem to be the grief that Bathsheba must have felt when she was caught up in a life-changing turn of events that she really had little control over, that directly caused the death of her first husband, Uriah, and then her child conceived from the r-a-p-e by King David.* The negative for King David of course, was that GOD punished him severely and caused the death of the child born out of wedlock to King David and Bathsheba. The true story is a heart-breaker for certain. The tragedy of it began with the emotions on the part of King David that are told in the song, “When a man loves a woman.” David proves that a man, even a man in high places, will do anything to have the woman he wants.
Now let me illustrate it to you in a Love story. Bathsheba and David one of the greatest love stories in the Bible. There is not much said about the woman that David married, Bathsheba, in the Bible. And there is less even spoken about their courtship. In my love analysis of this male and female relationship I am taking several liberties which include: my personal experiences with men, along with many relationships I have observed, and I will try and paint a picture in your mind of this romantic interlude. The Bible is full of sex, drama, love, and romance. We have to keep in mind that they were just people like you and I. We read our Bible’s and are taught who they were and what happened years later. The thing is though; they did not know the future anymore than we do. They were just living their lives not knowing what the consequences of their actions would be just like you and me. They were just living their lives.
God only knew what their future held, and what purpose their children would serve in his plan. Like Adam and Eve only God can join two together as one in marriage. There is no divorce by God. And no man can join them or separate them any more than he can separate them from the love of God. Men who have been married know that. Some are just the marrying kind, some are not. To desire children is the peradventure of God, even to wed.
Some people would like to disregard the relationship between David and Bathsheba described as one of the great love stories in the Bible not me. I am going to attempt to show you why. Whereby, God with full knowledge and consent allowed the union in marriage of David and Bathsheba before the foundation of the earth. One of many such marriages God made manifest which are a link in a chain for his purpose. It was necessary that they should become one flesh.
David had a heart for God, and he would do what he had to do for God, even though he would suffer consequences for what he did even chastisement from God for there is much fruit that comes from serving the LORD. And there is much fruit that came out of this union in fact fruit that affected our eternal destiny.
The story of David and Bathsheba is a beautiful love story, but the lesson we learn from this is patience and waiting on God. The tale of Bathsheba is often thought of as one of the romantic stories in the Bible. She was a beautiful woman loved by a handsome king. However, her relationship with David did not start off romantically so much as lustfully and sinful. The bond between the two may have developed later as they endured hardship as a result of their sin.

If only David had waited but sometimes we want things in our on timing and we aren’t willing to wait on the Lord. Waiting patiently upon the Lord is sometimes a hard thing to do. Sometimes we can lose hope. But God doesn’t want us to do that. He gives us His word to cling to. He speaks to our hearts. God gives us the shield of faith; use it to fend off all doubts and fears! He is strong and mighty and there is nothing that He cannot do. God hears our cries and wants us to trust in Him and His unfailing love.
Their relationship was already pre-destine. David and Bathsheba were destined for each other from the beginning of time. David took Bathsheba too prematurely. This impulsive impatience was the essence of his sin. King David prophetically knew that Bathsheba was destined to be his wife. His shortcoming was his lack of patience; his unwillingness to wait. David needed Bathsheba because he knew that the Messhiah was destined to descend from his union with her. Had he waited, he would have been able to have Bathsheba without having Uriah killed. His error was simply not weighing all the factors, not realizing that since she was destined to be his wife, he did not have to rush the process by taking matters into his own hands.

  So to begin with, if we examine things closely, here we have this chance meeting. Or is it really premeditated, or as I said the providence of God? Picture this: David for some reason comes and sits on his rooftop. Bathsheba is there washing herself in view of David and David alone. This is the first time he has ever seen her, or at least took notice of her, or maybe not. She has seen David on numerous occasions after all he is the king.

  She has been called and adulteress, but she was not alone. According to the torah she was not married. The law was that before a man went out to war he was required to divorce his wife. This was a necessary precaution taken to protect the wife. In case the husband would die in battle and no one could testify to the fact, the wife would not be an “Agunah” (chained to her possibly deceased husband) and would be free to remarry. If, however, the husband did return from the battlefield safe and sound – the couple was free to remarry. Uriah, too, issued this divorce to his wife and thus, according to Jewish law, King David had relations with a divorced woman. Before King David summoned Bathsheba, “he sent and inquired about the woman.” If David desired this woman and was willing to go to any length to fulfill his “fantasy,” why did he first send messengers to inquire regarding Bathsheba? Bathsheba is the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite. He should have sent messengers to “summon” the woman. It is evident that before David summoned her he wished to determine her marital status. Only after ascertaining that she was, in fact, the (divorced) wife of Uriah, did he make his advance. At that time God — via a prophetic vision — shows Bathsheba to David.

He was awe-struck by her beauty and loveliness. His heart was pricked. David was in love. Bathsheba wanted David, and he was enamored with her. She presented herself to the king with her utmost. Her womanliness was pervasive in the air. It drew him to the roof top. He could not help but stare. David could feel it. Bathsheba knew he was on the roof. She eyed David as he eyed her. The chemistry was flowing back and forth.
The timing was right. The mood was right. It was a beautiful evening. Hardly anyone was around. David came out to enjoy the coolness of the evening. Bathsheba found it a good time to wash herself. Preparing for the rest of the evening, she was cleansed for David. David talked to her about her cleansing after he sent for her. . Some things are meant to be and there is no way around it. David loved women. But there was something intriguing about this one. He could not get her off his mind. ? Obviously her marital status did not matter. Someone said with a voice of warning in the form of a question as an Observer! “Is she not the wife of Uriah the Hitite?”
But this remark did not stay David. He had a passion for this woman. He had to have her. He was going to take her away from her husband. He could have just sent for her, and then send her back. He did but that was not the end of it.

Men have you ever seen that woman you had to have? And the feeling was mutual? And it was not just pure lust? And you valued her and wanted to make her your own? You wanted to live with her, marry her, provide for her, and she is the one to have your babies? Now that is how David felt.

Time passed maybe less than a month and she sent word to David that she had conceived. Obviously she wanted him to take the next step. David had a choice; he could either cut bait or fish. He could have pursued her wholeheartedly or just dropped her like a hot potato. If he sent for her husband someone would still count the months. It seems to me that David got the answer he was looking for. The wait was over. He had the excuse to pursue her now. After all she was carrying his child. No one would dare stand in his way. The clock was ticking. Everyone would see what time it was.  Where have we heard this one before? It is an old story. With all the messages going back and forth between David and Bathsheba there was bound to be some talk. There had to be a few people that knew David even got Bathsheba pregnant! They were not very discrete about this whole matter. I believe that was purposeful.

So now it was time for David to eliminate the obstacle that prevented him from marrying Bathsheba. He sends a letter to Joab an officer in his army, instructing him to send Uriah to see him. When Uriah arrived he probably got wind of what went on between David and his wife. He knew he was a dead man. At this point what else could he do but make up excuses why he could not go home to be with Bathsheba no longer his wife and he did not. Then David let Uriah stay around for a few more days, but he still would not go home. David finally invited him over again and got him drunk, but he still would not go home.Uriah got his final papers. David sent Uriah back to Joab with a letter. He already knew what it said, and dared not break the king’s seal and read it. At least he would die with honor. The letter instructed when received by Joab to place Uriah in a position whereby he would be killed and he was. Uriah looked at his body language to confirm what he already knew. He was probably sent to the front line. And after the traditional time of mourning for her husband‘s valiant death in battle.

David and Bathsheba had a traditional marriage ceremony of a king similar to the wedding festival Jesus attended. The feelings that David had for Bathsheba were not just lust. David did not just want to possess her as a thing of beauty. He did not want her just for sexual pleasure. If that were the case he could have made her one of his concubines and not a wife. He wanted her babies to have the opportunity to be heir to his throne. He gave Bathsheba a lot. Out of all of David’s wives her son Solomon became heir to his throne. And God loved Solomon. David loved Bathsheba so much he was willing to do anything to make her his wife. Even to cause the LORD to become angry with him. David had a heart for God. Perhaps in his heart of hearts he knew he had to do this for the LORD, and God once again forgave him.

There are several instances in the Scripture where David had to repent even though a purpose of God was fulfilled. It was not above David to do the will of God for fear of consequences. That was how secure he was with the LORD. He always followed through with prayer sometimes asking God not to take the Holy Spirit from him to restore the joy of his salvation. To purge him with hyssop so he may be clean again. That’s salvation. We are not perfect but we are. We always turn to God not the other way.
David was never short on giving God the sacrifice of praise and worship. He was truthful before the LORD his God in all of his ways. He worshiped God in spirit and in truth. Not by the letter of the law, and in confessions to the LORD.Other than the loss of her firstborn who went to heaven, and her prior husband, there is no mention of Bathsheba suffering any personal consequences such as David had to face. Wasn’t that enough? Men can’t even begin to imagine her suffering. But this was purposeful. She had babies to be born by David for a purpose. She did what she had to do, and suffered the consequences, thereof, until then of. A burden she can’t share. You have to have a heart for women to understand. David was a warrior.Of all the things he could have asked of God, Solomon desired wisdom.

Here’s why: Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding. For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver and the gain thereof than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies, and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her. Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and honor. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her. The LORD by wisdom hath founded the earth; by understanding hath he established the heavens. That quote, Proverb’s 3:13-19, is from the only Authorized Version of the Bible, the King James Version. As in the Old Testament, Kings talk to God.

Something grand came out of this newly formed preordained relationship. David and Bathsheba was a match made in heaven. Not only did David sire King Solomon from Bathsheba, but they had another son by the name of Nathan. This child was not significant in and of himself in any manner mentioned during his life, but through his seed descended Jesus Christ the Messiah and our Savior.

David had a heart for God, and David had a heart for Bathsheba. Like Adam he disobeyed God to be with his woman. Their women wanted a man who wanted to be with them above all else, men who trust God to never leave them or forsake them. They will put you to the test. Bathsheba got her a man. Eve got her a man. The failure would have been to deny these women. But of course they could not. It was the providence of God.


Add yours →

  1. Thank you. I had always thought that God had put a love for each other in David and Bathsheba’s heart.

    • Hello Michelle,
      Love is a gift from God because God is love, he knew from the beginning that David would meet and fall in love with Bathsheba, Perhaps if David had waited the story would be different, but God does know our ending and our beginning. I am happy you enjoyed it.

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