“The Closed Heart That Wanted Love”

I used to think I was open.

I loved hard.

Showed up fully.

Gave more than I probably should have.

But now I’m starting to see…

I wasn’t open.

I was available… but guarded.

Present… but protected.

Loving… but never fully receiving.

⸻

Because somewhere along the way,

I learned that love doesn’t stay.

So I adapted.

I gave… before it could be taken.

I held on… before it could leave.

I tried to secure something

that was never mine to keep.

⸻

And the truth is…

A closed heart doesn’t always look closed.

Sometimes it looks like overgiving.

Overextending.

Overloving.

Because if I’m the one giving love…

I don’t have to risk receiving it.

⸻

But love doesn’t just need expression.

It needs access.

And a guarded heart may feel safe…

but it will miss the very thing it’s praying for.