The Most Profound Advice

The Most Profound Advice I’ve Ever Been Given

My late best friend used to say two things to me all the time:
“Be still and know,” and “Vengeance is mine.”

Out of the two, “Be still and know” always stayed with me the most.

Because it’s in the knowing that we often find our answers.

Not panic.
Not noise.
Not overthinking.
But stillness.

I always think of the word KNOW in all capital letters because sometimes faith requires more than quiet whispers. Sometimes life places you in situations where your spirit is screaming for reassurance, clarity, and peace. The lowercase version of faith feels easy when life is calm. But the uppercase KNOW is what carries you through storms.

To be still is not weakness. It’s trust.

It’s believing that even when life feels uncertain, God is still in control. It’s understanding that not every battle requires your reaction, your defense, or your revenge.

Which brings me to the second piece of advice:
“Vengeance is mine.”

That reminder became freeing as I got older. It taught me that I do not have to spend my life trying to get even with people who hurt me, betrayed me, misunderstood me, or treated me unfairly. What others do is between them and God. How He chooses to deal with them, bless them, or correct them is not my burden to carry.

Peace comes when you stop trying to hold court over everyone else’s actions.

But perhaps the most important advice I’ve ever shared was with my own children:
“Don’t allow your temper to manage you. You manage your temper.”

That lesson matters deeply in a world that often lacks kindness, patience, and grace. Emotional control is one of the hardest forms of maturity because reacting is easy — restraint takes strength.

People today are carrying wounds they never healed from. Many are afraid to trust others because they don’t fully trust themselves. Hurt people often project their fears, insecurities, and intentions onto everyone around them.

Which is why I also taught my children this:
“People often judge you by their own intentions.”

Sometimes when people assume the worst about you, it says more about what they themselves are capable of than it does about you. If someone quickly believes betrayal, dishonesty, manipulation, or cruelty of others, often it is because those things already exist somewhere within their own understanding of human behavior.

That realization changes how you move through life.

It teaches you not to internalize every accusation, every misunderstanding, or every projection people place on you. Some people only see the world through the lens of their own experiences, wounds, and choices.

So the most profound advice I’ve learned is this:

Be still enough to hear God.
Wise enough to control your emotions.
And discerning enough to understand that not every opinion about you belongs to you.