N8tivegirl

EVEN IF.

I Will Still Praise. (Part III)

There is a quiet joy

in praying for someone

who has no idea you are praying.

And then one day they call you.

Excited.

Overflowing.

Telling you what God just did.

A door opened.

A check came through.

A diagnosis shifted.

A relationship restored.

And you smile.

Because you know.

You were in that fight with them —

on your knees.

There’s a holy excitement

when someone unknowingly walks

into a breakthrough

you whispered about in private.

And sometimes they even say,

“Thank you for praying.”

But the truth is —

it wasn’t me.

It was God.

All I did was agree with heaven.

Still…

when you hang up the phone,

there’s a moment.

A small, human moment.

Where you almost whisper,

“Lord… why not me?”

And immediately the correction comes:

Why not them?

Are they not deserving?

Are they not loved?

Are they not chosen too?

Yes.

They are.

And that’s when you realize —

it isn’t jealousy.

It’s longing.

And longing can turn into something dangerous

if you don’t surrender it.

Because if you’re not careful,

you won’t stop believing…

You’ll just grow tired.

You don’t lose faith.

You lose expectation.

And eventually,

you release it.

Not because you stopped believing God could.

But because you stopped believing He would —

for you.

That’s the part that hurts.

But here’s what I’m learning:

Releasing is not the same as giving up.

Sometimes releasing

is refusing to turn your faith

into a scoreboard.

Sometimes letting go

is saying,

“God, I trust You enough

to bless others loudly

without shrinking my own hope quietly.”

So I wait.

Not bitter.

Not hardened.

Just surrendered.

And even in the waiting…

I will still praise.