N8tivegirl

What I Called a Mistake, God Called Material

(A Letter to the Single Mother Who Thinks She Failed)

There was a time I believed I had made too many mistakes to recover from.

Not small ones.

The kind that alter the trajectory of your life.

Becoming a single mother was not the plan.

And according to society, that label comes with predictions:

Your kids will struggle.

They’ll lack discipline.

They’ll repeat cycles.

You’ll drown financially.

You’ll be overwhelmed emotionally.

It’s almost as if the world stamps “failure” on your forehead.

But what if the story doesn’t end there?

What if what you call a mistake…

God calls material?

Single motherhood did not ruin me.

It refined me.

It forced accountability.

It forced discipline.

It forced prayer that wasn’t polished but desperate.

It forced me to show up even when I was tired.

Kids don’t ask to be born.

They don’t choose the circumstances.

They don’t choose whether love stays or leaves.

They simply arrive.

And even through struggle — they are a gift from God.

I was adamant about one thing:

We were going to make memories.

Not just survive.

Not just pay bills.

Not just scrape by.

Memories.

Laughter in the kitchen.

Movie nights on the couch.

Homemade meals filled with love.

Road trips that felt bigger than they were.

Bedtime conversations that shaped identity.

I put myself last many times to make sure they had.

Not because I was weak.

Because I understood seasons move fast.

You blink and the car seats disappear.

You blink and the backpacks are gone.

You blink and the noise turns into quiet.

And one day you look around…

and they’re grown.

When I look at my children now, I don’t see statistics.

I see legacy.

I see resilience formed in tight seasons.

I see work ethic learned by watching.

I see compassion birthed through struggle.

I see strength that did not come easy.

Yes, I made mistakes.

Yes, I chose wrong at times.

Yes, I had to learn the hard way.

But God did not waste it.

The relationship that failed taught boundaries.

The heartbreak taught discernment.

The struggle taught stewardship.

What I thought disqualified me…

prepared me.

Failure was not my final chapter.

Formation was.

And if you are a single mother reading this —

especially the one who feels labeled…

Hear me clearly:

You are not a cautionary tale.

You are a testimony in progress.

God does not waste unconventional stories.

He builds through them.

Your children are not proof of what went wrong.

They are proof of what you refused to let fall apart.

And one day,

when your house grows quiet,

you will not remember the shame.

You will remember the laughter.

The meals.

The growth.

The prayers whispered in the dark.

And you will realize:

What you called a mistake…

was actually legacy.

Closing Prayer

Father God,

Thank You for the children You entrusted to us.

Even in seasons we didn’t plan, You were present.

Even in mistakes, You were making miracles.

Where we felt inadequate, You supplied strength.

Where we felt judged, You called us chosen.

Where we feared failure, You built legacy.

Bless every single mother reading this.

Remind her she is not a statistic.

She is a steward.

She is a builder.

She is seen.

Cover her children.

Strengthen her hands.

Fill her home with peace, provision, and purpose.

And may the memories she makes today

echo for generations.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 💛