N8tivegirl

Healing the Inner Child — Part 3

Grieving What Never Was

There is a grief we rarely name.

Not the kind that comes with funerals or sympathy cards—but the quiet grief of the life we never had.

The childhood we imagined.

The safety we longed for.

The version of ourselves that never got the chance to exist.

There is a part of us that learned, very early, to let go of a dream before it ever had language. A little girl who watched other children be mothered—hair brushed, hands held, comfort offered—and wondered why her story felt so different. She learned how to adapt, how to survive, how to grow up faster than she should have.

And somewhere along the way, that child quietly grieved.

Not because she didn’t try hard enough.

Not because she wasn’t worthy.

But because some things were never given.

There is no going back.

No reclaiming the exact dream.

No rewriting the story the way it should have been.

And that is where the grief lives—not in what was done, but in what never was.

Healing does not ask us to pretend it didn’t hurt.

It invites us to acknowledge the loss without letting it define us.

To cry—not just for what happened, but for what didn’t.

To mourn the innocence, the protection, the ease we deserved.

To stop minimizing that ache by telling ourselves, others had it worse.

Your grief is not a competition.

Your loss does not need justification.

What was missing mattered.

And so do you.

Grieving what never was is not weakness—it is honesty.

It is the moment we stop abandoning ourselves by pretending it didn’t affect us.

It is the moment healing stops rushing and starts listening.

You are allowed to grieve the childhood you didn’t receive

and still build a life filled with meaning, safety, and love.

Both can exist at the same time.

Gentle Reflection

What part of your story have you never allowed yourself to grieve—because you thought you should be “over it” by now?

Benediction

May you honor what was lost without losing sight of who you are becoming.