N8tivegirl

Healing the Inner Child — Part 2

Re-Parenting the Parts That Were Neglected

When we talk about re-parenting the inner child, we’re really talking about learning how to give ourselves what we never received.

Often, the ones who withheld affection didn’t do so out of cruelty.

They did so out of absence.

How do you give what you never had?

How do you model tenderness when you were raised on survival?

How do you teach love when no one ever showed you how to receive it?

Some mothers were present, but not nurturing.

Some were providers, but not comforters.

Some were chasing love, chasing escape, chasing healing they never found.

And the child noticed.

The child learned early that attention was scarce.

That affection had to be earned.

That needs were inconvenient.

That being quiet was safer than being needy.

That child grew up.

And when that child became an adult—sometimes even a parent—the vow was made:

My child will not grow up the way I did.

So love became intentional.

Protection became fierce.

Presence became a promise.

Not because healing was complete,

but because the wound was understood.

Love vs. Survival

There is a difference between being raised in love

and being raised to survive.

Survival teaches:

Don’t ask for too much Don’t depend on anyone Stay alert Stay strong

Love teaches:

You are safe You are worthy You are allowed to need You are allowed to rest

Re-parenting begins when we recognize which one shaped us.

It’s the moment we stop shaming ourselves for unmet needs

and start meeting them with compassion.

What Re-Parenting Really Looks Like

Re-parenting the neglected parts of ourselves means:

speaking gently instead of critically resting without guilt setting boundaries that protect rather than punish choosing relationships that feel safe, not familiar allowing yourself the care you once longed for

It means becoming the steady presence you needed back then.

Not perfect.

Just present.

A Sacred Truth

Sometimes our parents couldn’t love us the way we needed

because they were still trying to love the wounded child inside themselves.

Understanding this doesn’t erase the pain.

But it can soften the edges.

Healing doesn’t require rewriting the past.

It requires responding differently now.

And when we do, something powerful happens:

The child who learned to survive

finally learns how to live.

Reflection

What is one need your younger self never received

that you can gently offer yourself today?