N8tivegirl

Becoming Unbothered

Subtitle: When peace matters more than being included

There was a time when being left out hurt more than I wanted to admit.

Not being invited.

Not being chosen.

Not being included.

I questioned myself.

I wondered what I had done wrong.

I tried harder.

I softened myself.

I made room for others—sometimes at the cost of my own peace.

But something shifts as you grow.

You begin to realize that peace is not found in proximity, and belonging is not proven by invitations. You learn that not every table is meant to seat you—and not every room deserves your presence.

Becoming unbothered doesn’t mean you stop caring.

It means you stop contorting.

You no longer shrink so someone else can shine.

You no longer dull your joy so others feel comfortable.

You no longer perform for acceptance.

You choose peace.

And yes—peace is priceless.

But it is not free.

It may cost you friendships.

It may create distance in family relationships.

It may leave you misunderstood.

But what it gives back is greater.

It gives you rest.

It gives you clarity.

It gives you relationships that add instead of drain.

It gives you the freedom to be fully yourself—without apology.

Becoming unbothered is not indifference.

It is discernment.

It is knowing when to engage and when to let go.

When to speak and when to stay silent.

When to walk away—not in anger, but in peace.

And that kind of peace?

It’s worth everything.