N8tivegirl

Becoming Secure

When confidence no longer asks permission

There comes a moment in life when you stop entering rooms asking yourself,

Am I enough?

Am I too much?

Becoming secure is realizing you no longer need validation to exist, to speak, or to belong. Your confidence no longer depends on who notices you, affirms you, or includes you. It rests quietly within you.

I often see women trying to fit in — adjusting themselves, shrinking parts of who they are, or softening their edges just to be accepted. Somewhere along the way, they lose themselves in the process of trying to belong. But belonging should never require self-erasure.

One of the most interesting women I ever met was an exchange student years ago from Panama. Her name was Yariella, but we called her Jardi. What stood out about her wasn’t loud confidence or attention-seeking behavior. It was her security. She was calm, grounded, and fully herself.

She once shared something her grandmother told her — advice she carried daily.

Every morning, she was to look in the mirror and say:

I am beautiful. I feel beautiful.

It wasn’t vanity.

It was anchoring.

Her grandmother wanted her to learn early not to rely on others for confidence or self-worth — but to recognize it within herself. Jardi wasn’t arrogant. She wasn’t trying to outshine anyone. She was simply secure in who she was.

God reminds us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We do not compete for His love, His affection, or His attention. There is no ranking system in heaven. You don’t have to perform, impress, or compare to be seen by Him.

And because of that truth, you don’t need to shrink who you are to fit into a crowd. You don’t need to dim your light to make others comfortable. Becoming secure is focusing less on becoming like them and more on becoming the best version of you — the version God already designed with intention.

Security doesn’t announce itself.

It doesn’t strive.

It simply stands.