N8tivegirl

Between Here and There

The other day, I thought I saw you.

Just for a brief moment in time, I looked up and said, there she goes.

But it was only my mind playing tricks on me.

I’ve come to realize we live in two parallel worlds that often intertwine.

There are smells that trigger memories without warning.

Dreams so vivid they feel like conversations.

Moments where I wake up believing you were just here—

only to remember you’re gone.

There are days I’m angry.

Angry that I didn’t get to say goodbye.

But the truth is, no one ever really leaves without saying goodbye.

We just don’t recognize it in the moment.

The last “I’ll see you later.”

The last hug.

The last ordinary goodbye that didn’t feel final.

No one prepares a child to lose a parent.

No one prepares a parent to walk a child down the aisle without someone they love watching.

No one prepares a loved one for the moment someone they adore meets their Bridegroom, Christ.

There is no manual.

No guide.

No rehearsal.

All we know is that you are gone.

And the ache left behind is vast—

stretching across the heart and settling deep in the soul.

Even when we understand, we don’t fully understand.

Or maybe we do, and we just pretend not to.

So we do what life asks of us.

We move forward, one day at a time.

Not wanting to let go.

Trying not to be consumed by grief.

Some days I tell myself I’m okay.

I say I’m alright.

I’ve heard the answers.

I know the sayings.

But knowing doesn’t always quiet the ache.

It’s hard getting the head and the heart

to agree on your absence.

So I live here now—

between here and there.

Carrying love that didn’t end,

missing someone I still feel,

learning how to hold both remembrance and life

in the same breath.

And maybe that’s enough.

Thank you for reading !!