N8tivegirl

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” — Joshua 1:9

I’ve had people worry about me over the years — girlfriends who love me deeply and mean well. They worry about my heart, my choices, my tendency to protect myself a little too tightly. But what they don’t always understand is that when someone gets too close, I disappear. I walk away. I set them up with someone else. I push them off gently so I don’t have to face the risk.

It’s not that I don’t care.

It’s not that I can’t love.

It’s that sometimes love feels like it costs too much.

And in those moments, God has a way of whispering a question that stirs the soul:

“Do you trust Me?”

I answered yes… but it was a yes with conditions. A yes wrapped in bandages. A yes that was shaky.

Because trusting God is beautiful in theory — until real life hits.

Do You Trust Me?

The whisper came again and again…

Do you trust Me

when things aren’t going right,

when life deals painful blows,

when finances run dry?

Do you trust Me

when tragedy comes,

when prayers feel unanswered,

when you don’t have words left to pray?

Do you trust Me

when friends misunderstand you,

when you feel alone,

when no hand is there to hold?

Do you trust Me

when there’s a war inside your soul,

when darkness surrounds you,

when you feel left out in the cold?

Do you trust Me

when evil pushes against you,

when you cannot see the way out,

when truth feels hidden?

I ask because you forget

that I am in the midst of it all.

Every trial, every tear,

every storm you walk through —

I am there.

I will never leave you.

Trust Me.

Even when you don’t understand.

Even when people fail.

Even when your heart shakes.

Just trust Me.

Learning to Fall Back

Do you remember that old childhood game where you were supposed to fall backward and trust someone to catch you? I hated that game. I never trusted anyone enough to let go. I was convinced I’d hit the ground and crack my skull.

Growing up, people failed me — and failure makes trusting hard.

But over time, God began rebuilding what life tore down. He reminded me:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

People may fail — friends, family, relationships, all of them human.

But God?

He remains steady. Unchanging. Faithful.

And slowly, my yes but became a solid yes.

Peeling Back the Bandages

I’ve started to peel back the bandages around my heart — slowly, gently, bravely. Trusting God has taught me how to trust myself, and eventually how to trust others again.

And yes, I already know my friend who always jokes about my “Boaz” will have some slick comment when she reads this. But I’m learning to smile at that now — because I’m finally learning what trust feels like.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose trust is the Lord.”

— Jeremiah 17:7

Trust Me

Once you give your burdens to Me, don’t take them back.

Trust Me.

Put your children on My list.

Put your finances on My list.

Put your emotional storms on My list.

I want to help you.

All you have to do… is trust.