N8tivegirl

Original by Valrelyn Parson — Revised Edition

Have you ever wondered how some people seem to effortlessly attract healthy love? As if they know a secret you somehow missed? Maybe you’ve found yourself longing for marriage, partnership, or simply someone who genuinely sees you — only to keep ending up in the wrong relationships, over and over again.

You’re not alone.

And you’re not broken.

Before we can recognize a soul mate, we must first understand who we are — both spiritually and emotionally.

Spirit & Soul: Knowing the Difference

Scripture tells us we were created in the image of God — and God exists as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

In the same way, we also have multiple dimensions:

• Spirit — Your eternal breath, your divine identity, the part of you that never changes.
• Soul — Your emotions, desires, personality, and the way you experience life.

Many relationships form in the soul only. But true soul partnerships begin in the spirit — that place where God is involved in the joining, not just attraction, emotion, or loneliness.

Relationships We Choose vs. Relationships God Ordains

There are marriages and relationships we choose, and there are marriages God calls and confirms.

“What God has joined together, let no one separate.”

This verse isn’t merely about two people standing at an altar. It refers to a spiritual connection — a soul tie that God Himself ordains.

When God is not the one joining the relationship, other things will eventually tear it apart — fear, insecurity, unmet expectations, or simply the exhaustion of trying to force something that was never meant to be.

The Truth About Soul Mates

Your spiritual identity existed before you were born.

You were known — deeply and completely — by God.

Your soul mate is not someone you find.

They are someone God reveals at the right time.

And when you meet them, it doesn’t feel like discovery…

It feels like recognition.

That quiet whisper:

“I’ve known you before.”

Because spiritually — you have.

Chemistry Isn’t Enough

We’ve been taught to confuse chemistry with compatibility.

But you can have chemistry with many people — including those who are broken in the same place as you.

What you need is connection, purpose, and wholeness.

You cannot build a lasting relationship out of:

• Loneliness
• Insecurity
• Need
• Trauma bonding

Two broken people don’t complete one another — they simply multiply their wounds.

Wholeness is what prepares us for God-ordained love.

Becoming Whole

You must be able to say:

“God is enough for me — even if I remain single a while longer.”

Wholeness looks like:

• Healing before attaching.
• Loving yourself without needing to be chosen.
• Knowing your purpose.
• Not settling because you’re afraid to be alone.

When your security is rooted in God, not in needing to be loved by someone, your relationships become healthy, grounded, and free.

You Won’t Have to Chase What God Sent

A soul mate does not fill a void.

They walk beside you in fullness.

Adam didn’t chase Eve.

He didn’t audition for her.

He didn’t perform to be worthy of her.

He simply recognized her.

When it’s God:

• There is peace.
• There is clarity.
• There is confirmation.
• There is no fear of loss.

If your relationship causes constant confusion, insecurity, or distance from God — then it is not from Him.

A Prayer While You Wait

Lord, You know the desires of my heart.

Teach me to trust Your timing.

Prepare me for the love You have ordained for my life.

Help me become whole, healed, and aligned with Your will.

If marriage is Your desire for me, let it be a blessing and not a burden.

Guide my steps. Strengthen my spirit.

And keep my heart rooted in You, always.

Amen.