Your Spirit Lingers with Me. < Valrelyn> all copyright reserved
Your spirit still lingers. Even though you are no longer here, I can feel your presence, or rather – its essence. It is as if you are guiding me through life. I pray I continue to make the right choices. I feel you near me, and if I close my eyes, I feel your lips against my forehead… I can hear your heart beat. I know that we are separated by destiny. Beloved, I am so alone, and often I wonder if I will make it. My soul cries when I think of living without you. You were the wind beneath my wings that kept me grounded. I long for your embrace even though we are apart. We are separated by time.
My friends don’t understand what it feels like to be in my situation. They’ve never been in this situation, and they can’t comprehend what challenges I’m facing. They don’t know how to help me. Some friends have even suggested I strengthen my faith and just trust in You. It seems sometimes as if they have let me down or turned their backs on me, but You said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” You told me to find strength in You. You understand what I’m feeling, even at the times that I can’t put my feelings into words. You felt this way in the Garden of Gethsemane: alone and abandoned… no friends to see You through… none but the Father and the Holy Spirit to understand Your pain. However, I pray that like You, my faith will prevail and see me through.
I realize that time separates us, our love will transcend death, and it will live on for eternity. My memories of you will not fade as time passes. They will only be intensified by my love for you. I could easily wish that I could correct all of the mistakes, and undo all the wrongs. However, it is those experiences that have brought me here. Our first encounter was so breathtaking that some would even say it was unforgettable. I am left with withered memories of a life I once knew, and a heart where pain has replaced joy.
Lord, I am standing here before You, a broken vessel in Your presence. I need You so much. I feel so hopeless, so removed from mercy. I need You to survive; I need You to get through this lonely existence. If only I could touch the hem of your garment, I know everything would be okay. The process hasn’t been easy. Father, I am just waiting for Your gentle touch, and for You to mend my broken heart. I am here before You, asking for a second chance, begging and pleading for just one moment. I need Your will to overtake mine.
You have so many memories attached to the past; you think that all your happiness lies there. You think of what life used to be, and you merely exist in the present. I want to show you all the future has in store for you. Believe that your heart will be mended. I want you to think of the woman with the issue of blood… she was healed before she touched Me. She was healed by her faith. It was her faith in Me that healed her. It will take your faith in Me to heal you… to heal your broken heart, so I can restore joy once more. My Love, you have to be willing to let go and surrender completely unto Me. Do you believe I can heal? Do you believe I gave sight to the blind? Your healing is in your faith.
I am the Potter, and I wish to make a new vessel of you. I want to pour My spirit into you, but I can’t pour new wine into an old wine skin. The old skin that you are clinging to has already been stretched to its maximum capacity. There is no more room in your past. I need to pour My blessing into a new skin, a skin that will be able to contain everything I have proclaimed for you. Will I not “open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it?” The old skin wouldn’t be able to contain all My blessings. New wine has to expand during the fermentation process and old skin is too brittle and dry to withstand the pressure of its expansion. I want to expand the areas of your life. I want to expand your territory. Think outside the realm of normalcy. My child, it is for this reason that you required a new skin, and not the old. My child, the old would burst under the tremendous amount of pressure I have for your life.
It is time to let go my child – surrender all that lingers on from your past. It is time to kiss that era of your life goodbye. It is time to bury your mistress that you continue to cling to. It is time to embrace the bride of your future… to create new memories. It is rebuilding time, My love – a time to restructure, to tear down walls, and expand. You came to Me broken and bruised, it is My plan to heal you. In order to heal, you have to let go. My Love, kiss yesterday goodbye and embrace today. You must run boldly to your future because time waits for no man. My child, just say, “Yes, Lord, I need You…I trust You.” I know the fermentation stage seems a bit tight, but abide in My Word. You will walk in the Promised Land and not look back or reflect on your time in Sodom and Gomorrah. My Love, trust Me to see you through.
My child, I have restored everything that was lost in the fire. I have turned your ashes into roses. It is your time to shine in My glory. It is your season to reap the harvest that you have not yet sown. My Love, allow your faith to heal you. Reach for My hem, if need be. But remember to put that faith into action. My Love, remember it was the woman’s faith that healed her, not only the touch, but her faith in Me. My Love , please don’t continue to walk around broken. Allow your faith in Me to heal you – my response is always – I will.